I'd Give Up Forever To Touch You
by Arden Skysender
Summary: Haldir's Wash Maid is a little sick of his arrogance, and so when she is fired, she doesn't go crawling back like he expects. A humbling experience in learning humility and love for the Marchwarden, by the most unlikely of elleths. HaldirOFC
1. Chapter 1

A/N** I'm back with a new story. This one i lpve love love! Hope you all enjoy it too and let me know what you all think1**

If there was one thing she hated, it was arrogance. And unfortunately, being Haldir's Wash maid, she got more than her fair share directed at her. The insufferably handsome March warden, the Valars own gift to elleths, ensured that all the elleths wanted him. Except one. The one who had to clean up after him, the one who was too close to see past his (many) flaws. The plain little elleth who tended his washing. And whilst he would never look twice at such a plain little thing, it never the less bothered him that there was one who could resist him.

Her name was Cahra. Brown hair and brown eyes set in sun browned skin lent nothing extraordinary to her features. Indeed, there was nothing extraordinary about Cahra, she was clever with needle and thread, always managing somehow to repair the worst rents in any tunic, and good with her hands. She loved to create pretty things, as though if she couldn't be pretty herself, she would produce goods that made others look twice. She sold them to a vender at the local market place, too shy to peddle the intricate carvings, beadwork and embroidery herself. And many elves had a piece or two created by her in their talans. The vendor profitted richly from her work, but little of the profits found its way to Cahra's purse.

She didn't know why she put up with Haldir. Honestly, she didn't. Just this morning she struggled under a heavy load of his clothes (as he never summoned her when his clothes needed washing, She, it would seem he had decided, must go to him) he had walked straight past her with barely a second glance, intent on chasing some piece of fluff or another, nearly knocking the heavy load from her hands. She swore, she must have found more pieces of females clothing in his rooms than she did his! Being Haldirs wash maid was a full time job, as not only did she have to wash these hastily discarded articles of clothing, but she had to somehow find the correct owner too. (Haldir was no help. He very rarely knew the elleths names.) And for the first twenty years, there was the continuous hearty slaps upon the buttocks and suggestive comments from him, until he had simply lost interest and began to devote all his attentions elsewhere. (a fact for which she was most grateful.)

"There you are." A haughty voice interrupted her thoughts. She looked up from her wash tub, her eyes following the strong line of his body, until she reached the blue eyes of the Marchwarden, which shone with self-importance. "Why must I always come find you? Why can you not stay where I can see you?"

She brushed a bedraggled strand of hair from her face, exasperated. "Because _you_ insist on ingraining filth into _all_ of your clothes in the space of a week!" Despite being a shy elleth, she had no problem addressing the March Warden in this fashion. Indeed, there was very few ways you could _not_ speak to someone when you have spent the last century washing their undergarments.

He sighed, rolling his eyes. "Well, it is hardly my fault. Do not complain. I am the Marchwarden. I am charged with Loriens protection. It is up to me to ensure the safety and wellbeing of all it's occupants"

"particularly the females" she muttered under her breathe, unheard by Haldir, who was too intent on his tirade (which she had heard a hundred timed before)

"And I can hardly do that if my clothes are dirty, now can I?" he finished, throwing a dress at her feet. "Have this washed and return it to it's owner."

"Did you happen to catch her name this time, My Lord?" she asked a little longingly. Maybe, just once, she could finish his work and be back at her talan to work on the delicate lace work for a cushion she was crafting.

"Of course not. What good is a name Caras?" he asked, a little snootily. "It cannot keep me warm or feed me or," he smiled down at her indulgently, as she scrubbed the stains from the dress. "wash my clothes. Now be a good elleth, and have that returned, Ciara." He turned and walked away, whistling some jaunty tune or another. Cahra shook her head as she continued to scrub at the dress. You would think that after all these years, he would at least remember my name she thought grudgingly. She looked at the white stain on the dress distastefully. And you would think that after all these years, she would have found herself a better job.

After tracking down the garments owner (another willowy elleth, another beauty who had been but a passing amusement for the March Warden) and avoiding the many questions the elleth had for her about him ("Did he mention me? Did he say anything about meeting me this eve? Will I see him later, to which she answered, "No, no and no.") she finally returned to her talan. Just as she was sitting down, with a contented sigh, to pick up her needle work, the door flew open, and in strode Haldir.

"Why have you not come back to finish my talan? It needs cleaning to," he said, hands on hips, eyebrow raised haughtily. "Must I always call you back to work half done?"

"Did you knock?" she asked, never raising her eyes from her needle work. This was a long wearing argument between the two of them. He never announce his presence before entering by knocking. When questioned about this annoying habit he had replied "Why? It is not as though there was anyone else in here."

"No, of course not. Did you not hear?" he asked, rolling his eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me My Lord." She admonished, her eyes never leaving the fine lace in her hands.

How does she do that? He thought to himself warily, for at least the hundredth time. The insufferable elleth seemed to always know exactly what he was doing, especially when it was mocking her.

"And if you would review my contract for my service to you, Lord, you will see, again , that I have no duty to your talan, only your clothes."

"I did check the contract. It clearly states all manner of fabric and cloth to be cleaned by you. Now you may not be able to tidy the talan, but how will you wash the rug with half a dozen pieces of paper strewn over it?" he asked with a triumphant smile upon his face. She looked up at him warily.

"Alright," she murmured, defeated,. "Just give me a moment."

"Now." He demanded, folding his arms across his chest. "I am expecting company."

She looked at the delicate lacework, and put it aside reluctantly, rising from her chair, her feet and back aching. "I am coming."

He smiled dominantly, before turning on his heel and striding out, leaving her door wide open.

He always did this to her! Whenever she found a moment to herself, he always managed to have something else for her to do.

It was almost a relief when he was at the border, although recently he was spending less and less time there, as fewer and fewer wardens where needed to defend Lorien, the darkness that had once threatened fading. Whenever he was gone she gave the talan a thorough cleaning anyway, despite it not being required, but Haldir expected it, and was far from appreciative. He rarely saw the little elleth who so dutifully worked to keep him so comfortable, despite often sharing a living space with her. He was too busy mulling over other matters. She was as good as invisible.

Once a year or so, as regularly as a sacred right, Haldir had her remove four dresses from a locked chest he kept in his room. The dresses that were his mothers. Her wedding dress, and the dress she had worn when she was pregnant with Haldir, and two others that she had worn constantly. All four were works of art, and she loved to study the embroidery on the rare occasion she was to wash them. She was to watch them, under Haldir's watchful eye, and then carefully return them to their chest. This ritual between him, her and the dresses, almost made Haldir a little more normal to her. A little more...of an elf. The tenderness he treated the dresses with moved her deeply. But then he would snap at her to polish the chest or some other menial task, and that rare moment of insight would be lost.

She arrived at his talan, and began to clear the paper from the rug. An idea occurred to her, but she brushed it aside. Even she was not resentful enough of his treatment of her to place the papers somewhere else, instead of throwing it out. Was she? She uncovered yet another elleth's undergarment that was beneath another piece of paper. She smiled wickedly. Oh yes she was. It was time Haldir stopped treating her as invisible, and it was time she stopped behaving like it. When she left his talan some time later, the rug was beautifully clean, and all the paper was back in place atop it, as was the undergarments. She smiled indulgently to herself. Yes. That would do quite nicely.

**A/N i've already written the next chapter, it will be up shortly. What do you think? You shall not have the next chapter if I do not know what you think! Lol. Not because i don't want to give it to you, but my muse is withholding it from even me until she gets praise. Does anyone want to trade muses? Please? So what did you think?**

The romance is to come.


	2. Everything's Made To Be Broken

For all my lovely readers, here is a lovely long chapter for you.

**Disclaimer;** I own nothing. At all. But Cahra, I own her. I don't own Haldir...i wish i did, but hey.

This chapter is dedicated to my loyal reader, Lady Anck-su Naman, who has been with me since the beginning. 

**(99**

**Haldir led the giggling elleth in through the door of his talan, his face open and accommodating, his yes full of lust, but his mind bored. He had done this a thousand times, and lately, the satisfaction seemed to diminish. Indeed, calling the little washer elleth...Cary, yes, Cary, bask to work gave him more satisfaction. She did have a delightful behind. He liked to watch her clean the rugs. His attention has swiftly brought back to the matter at hand however, when the elleth wrapped her arms around his waist, and placed gentle kisses at the base of his neck. He sighed, before turning around and kissing her softly. He had grown to hate this tenderness that always must come first. His lust had once demanded he push the elleth against the wall and take her there, then, her skirts around her waist, his leggings undone, but the Lady's he wooed were gently bred, and therefore must be gently loved. **

**The release used to make it worth his while, but again, lately it too was fading. He walked back towards his room, pulling her after him, when he felt something crush beneath his foot. He looked down and saw the remains of the drafted report he had been writing that afternoon. On top of his beautifully clean rug. He looked closer in the growing darkness. The rug, despite being cleaned, was exactly how he had left it. Including...**

"**Haldir?" asked the elleth a little suspiciously, as she too caught sight of the offending garment. "Who do these belong to?"**

"**They are mine." he answered quickly, grabbing them before she could. "They are mine. I must have left them lying about."**

"**I did not think that the Marchwarden would wear an elleth's underwear," she stated, her eyebrows raised."**

"**I..."**

"**Or lace,"**

"**Well I..."**

"**Or about three sizes too small.'**

"**Ah...yes. They aren't mine."**

"**I can tell. Good night Haldir." and with that, the disappointed elleth left, leaving a fuming Haldir behind her. He stormed past her and out into the darkened trees of Lorien, where he threw himself at the door of Cahra's talan, buckling the door under his superior strength.**

**She blinked open her eyes sleepily. She had fallen asleep in her chair, tying to finish the lace for market tomorrow. It would fetch enough to buy her bread and fruit for another few days, at least until Haldir paid her again. It seemed that the space between pay day grew a little longer each month. And it also seemed that she would be eating stale bread again, as by the look on Haldir's face, the lace would go unfinished. And he hadn't knocked. Why did he never knock?**

"**Why did you not clean up like I asked of you? Was it so difficult? Was so meager a task too beyond comprehension for you to..."**

"**My Lord," she interrupted, still blinking the sleep from her eyes. "I did exactly as what was stipulated. I cleaned the rug. I also cleaned the curtains whilst I was there, they were filthy. What is the problem?"**

"**The problem is the rubbish you left there, I had company! You have no idea how embarrassed I was to invite them into my home and have...have"**

"**Undergarments upon the ground?"**

"**Yes!"**

"**My Lord, I think you will find that your contract stipulated that I clean only your cloth and garments, not every elleth west of the border. From now on, your female companions clothing is none of my concern. And the rubbish on the rug was paper, and therefore, nothing to do with me."**

**Haldir stood there, his face red, his mouth opening and closing in shock, before stating "Fine. If that is the way you fell, I shall simply have to find myself another wash maid.'**

"**Then you do that, if you feel you must, Marchwarden."**

"**I will." He went to stalk out, stopping at the door. "Don't come back and beg me for your job back, you shall not have it."**

"**Alright," she said, going back to her lace. **

"**And don't go...bursting in to tears or anything...female like that, because I shall remain unmoved by it." he stated, stalling, waiting for her to beg and plead with him not to sack her.**

"**Believe me, Marchwarden, I will not.**

"**Fine" he snapped, turning on his heel, and stalked out.**

"**Fine", she whispered to the lace, trying to fight the depressing prospect of a future without work.**

"**Fine," he muttered to himself, as he faced the looming and depressing prospect of finding another elleth who would wash things just the way he liked. Who would use that sandal wood soap he liked so much. Who would keep his home and clothes so clean. Who would...**

"**No," he muttered, back at his own talan. "I don't need her, I will simply find someone else. There must be thousands of elleths, much more attractive, who can splash around a bit of soap satisfactorily!"**

**(&(7**

"**There are no elleths around who can splash around a bit of soap satisfactorily!" he murmured to himself, as he chased the fourth maid he had hired in a week out his door. **

**The first had been insufferable. She simpered and giggled and flipped a cloth around, never cleaning anything and whilst he appreciated the low cut dresses she wore, she was maybe a quarter of his age. And she giggled. He hated giggling. **

**The second was not particularly bad, she just wasn't particularly good either. (admit it, his mind whispered. She's just not Cahra.) And she hadn't dusted underneath anything, only around it. it was most frustrating.**

**The third was the worst by far. He made the mistake of bedding the attractive elleth, and she never left her clothes on after that, expecting more and more from him. Nothing was cleaned at all, and he resorted to burrowing Rumils tunics as his were all dirty. There was little satisfaction to be had in her arms to begin with, and it only decreased exponentially.**

**The fourth he was sure had stolen and sold his best tunic, and his suspicions were confirmed when he saw it a day later on another ellon. That had been the final straw. He had given up hiring someone else. There was just no one who could...who could...no one who...was...Cahra. But he was too proud to go back to her. **

**Three weeks after he had fired Cahra, he had resorted to washing his cloths himself. And it turned out to be a lot more difficult than he had expected. He couldn't find the sandal wood scented soap, his hair was all over the place, he was soaked, and he had torn his shirt on a submerged branch in the process. His back ached from having bent over to scrub the clothes, which were dirtier than when he had started. Realization hit him that this must be what Cahra felt like every day, with his constant flood of chores for her to complete. He never had any time to do anything anymore. "What an insufferably difficult, useless, unproductive..."**

'**Necessary chore?" came a familiar voice from the path. He turned around sheepishly, a little embarrassed that the mighty Marchwarden was seen washing (or trying to wash ) his own clothes. There stood a pale skinned, darkly ringed eyed, tired looking Cahra, an unreadable expression on her face. He reddened slightly. In shame. **

"**If you would do me the service of leaving me alone lady, I am washing my clothes."**

**She shrugged her shoulders at the proud March wardens folly, before moving downriver to wash her own clothes. She watched him out of the corner of her eye, and nearly laughed when she saw him trying to clean a shirt, tearing it in the process, and with no soap. He let out a small cry of frustration, hitting the water in his rage, the splash wetting him further. He couldn't do it! He hadn't felt this much hopelessness since...well...ever!**

"**It looks as though you require help Marchwarden," she mentioned softly, sitting up.**

**He looked down, ashamed, of himself and his previous behavior. He couldn't do this anymore.**

"**Would you ...perhaps... if you are not currently occupied...maybe consider...Help me Cahra?" He had a look of such desperation on his face, that with his bedraggled hair and soaked clothing, she couldn't help but feel sorry for him. And he had remembered her name. For the first time in the century she had known him, he had remembered her name. He looked so forlorn kneeling by the river, mud in his hair, that she found herself letting go of the bitterness she had felt towards him for his previous treatment of her. She approached him, a bundle of her own clothes with her, which she placed upon the ground. "What are you using to wash those with?" she asked, her eyebrows drawn in confusion. He looked up at her a little sheepishly. "Water," he said as though that were perfectly normal. "I could not find the soap you use.'**

**She bent down beside him, drawing a cake of soap from her pocket. The familiar and soothing scent of sandalwood filled his head. "Where did you get that?" he asked, reaching for it, and inhaling the scent deeply. **

"**I made it," she said quietly, and he turned to look at her, as though seeing her for the first time. He handed the soap back to her. **

"**Will you help me? Teach me how this is done?" he asked humbly. She wordlessly reached for the tunic. **

"**You have torn this one terribly Marchwarden.", she said, before drawing it through the water once more. "Lather the soap." Haldir rubbed the soap briskly in his hands. "Now give them to me." He held the soap out to her, confused. "No," she laughed a little, "Your hands." He realized then that he had never heard her laugh. It was a lovely sound. He gave his soap covered hands to her, and she placed her much smaller and surer hands over his. "Now, see where the embroidery is around the collar? Gently rub the soap over it. That's right. Like that. Not too hard, or you'll tear it. Now see the stain on the lapel? Soap the stain, then rub the two sides of the fabric together. The friction helps dissolve the stain." He watched as the stain faded from sight, and he rinsed the soap from the tunic. He realized then just how close her body has to his. Her arms were wrapped around his, guiding his hands, her body pressed to his side. She almost unconsciously moved against him, guiding his movements, and the proximity of her to him made him feel comforted, and warmed him against the chill of the water. Also, her breasts pressed against his shoulder. He shivered. He forced his mind back to the task at hand, only to have his eyes wandering down the front of her dress, which caused further distraction to another part of his anatomy. But he noticed something else. She felt a lot thinner than any elleth should.**

"**Now," she said, startling him from his reflections. "See? It is clean." He looked into her smiling eyes, and returned her smile. He had never been this close to a female without intending seduction. But there was something wholesome and cleansing about her presence, that awakened gentler feelings within him. Softer feelings. He enjoyed spending time with her. He had missed her near invisible presence in his life, and not just for her cleaning. She lifted the heavy water logged tunic from him, and hung it over a branch to dry. As he watched her, he saw her sway on her feet suddenly, her face pale. He frowned. There was little strength in her movements**

"**Now, I have my own washing to tend to, so you continue to do just as I showed you. But don't wash that other shirt. I'm afraid that I will have to repair it first, to save it fraying anymore My Lord." **

**He smiled at that sheepishly. "You repaired the rents in my clothes too?" he asked a little wondrously. He had thought that she had taken them to a seamstress of some sort. It never really occurred to him just how much of a rare find she was. Until now. Now that he had witnessed and experienced her work. Also, now that he had searched in vain for another like her through every maid in Lorien, and had been found wanting. Her. Wanting her. **

"**Well yes. Who else would do it?" she asked, a little surprised. **

"**Could...Could you show me?" he asked a little hesitantly. Unsure of himself for perhaps the first time in many, many years.**

"**If you like. Now, let us finish getting these clothes clean."**

**Now i know there are a few reading this, so please, tell me what you think! Anything i should change, or that is frustrating you? Let me know. I love reading your feedback. Enjoy!**


	3. Momment of Truth in Your Lies

**A/_N:Thank you all for the lovely reviews! I love love love you all. I have replied to all the ones that had an address to reply to, and for those that didn't, thankyou so much anyway! Here is the next chapter, and it's a good one. (but the next one is even better still!)lol. But you all have to wait a little longer for that. Enjoy._**

**He saw her stumble as she bent over to pick up the basketful of their damp clothes. He stopped her, before taking them from her. She looked at him, a little surprised, but then smiled softly at him, allowing him to take it.**

**As he took the heavy load from her small frame, he realized that she _had_ gotten thinner. She looked like an earth bound wraith, and dark shadows coloured her eyes. She was tired. And he could not help but think that he was in some way responsible. He followed her up the path to her talan, to retrieve her workbasket. She went inside, and he stood in the doorway. **

"**You can come in," she said, a little confused. He smiled, before knocking on the door. She smiled back at him, one that lit up her dark eyes. Why had he never noticed them before? He stepped inside. As he waited for her to gather what she wanted, he couldn't help but look around the tiny little talan. Despite the small size of it, and the poor quality of the flooring and the roof, she had covered every surface with intricate and beautiful coverings, glimmering tapestries and lace and beading, all so finely crafted that only the richest could have afforded some of the pieces. He stood staring at one particularly intricate wall hanging, of the sun setting over the sea, the water glimmering with silver and gold threads, the sun a burst of colour and the gulls wheeling overhead, as though they would take wing and fly right off the tapestry. It was breathtaking. She saw him staring as she came back.**

"**That is my favourite. It took me over three years to complete," she said quietly. He looked at he, his mouth agape. **

'**You, you...made this?" he asked her in awe. Such beautiful work, it was a joy to look upon. She nodded, a little embarrassed.**

'**I made everything in this room." she said quietly, and he looked around the room again, nearly dropping the washing in his wonder. Each piece was perfect, every detail was exquisite in it's faultless design.**

"**Come, it's time to leave, "she whispered, a little uncomfortable at Haldir's wide eyes stares that fell around the room, and then back to her, making her seem naked.**

**He followed her from the room of treasures, but he could not help but think, in a voice so quiet that he almost didn't hear it, in the deepest recesses of his mind, that of all the treasures in her house of beauty, she was the finest and most perfect. **

"**Cahra," he asked her quietly, as they continued on to his talan. "Why are you in so small a talan surely you could afford somewhere a little better with your work and skill?" he asked her, carefully avoiding the question he really longed to ask, why was she so painfully thin, as though she had not eaten for weeks?**

"**I sell my goods to a vendor at the market. Relion, his name is. He sells my work for me. But it never fetches a very high price. It is sometimes enough to purchase new materials for more goods to sell, though with very little left over to live off. If I don't buy the materials, I have no income the next week , but if I buy the materials, I'm left with very little to live with. It is a simple existence. And there has been very little to buy food with recently," She said, carefully avoiding Haldir's direct gaze. He would have to have a talk to this Relion, who was known amongst higher circles for being one of the richest merchants of Lorien. His goods were of the finest quality, and now Haldir knew why. And then suddenly Haldir felt a pang of guilt. He too had been to miserly with his payments to her, often cheating her of what was rightfully owed her for up to weeks at a time. He would give it to her eventually, but always grudgingly, and now, he realized, never as much as she truly deserved for her labors. He felt truly ashamed for the second time that day, and for the second time in many, many years. **

**He placed the load of garments upon the balcony, as he opened the door for her, allowing her to enter first. Her eyes brightened a little at this sudden display of courtesy, but then struggled not to lean on the wall for support. She was dizzy, the room spun. He followed her in, and placed the washing on the table. She shook herself out of it, before going to the pile on the table. She took the torn shirt off of the top, setting it down, preparing to repair it, but he took it from her slim fingers.**

"**When was the last time you have eaten, Cahra?" he asked, as he saw her sway on her feet, her strength having been tested by the long absence of food, and the days activities.**

"**I...I don't know what you are talking about, My Lord. Hand me the shirt, if you please, did you want to learn how to repair it or not?" She avoided his gaze. **

**He set the shirt down, and led her into his kitchen, and sat her down at his table, her frame sapped of much of it's strength, so she could no longer fight him. He went to his cupboards, and took out all he could find, placing bread, cheese and fruit in front of her, all of the finest quality, as was the wine he poured for her, a subtle brew that he was saving for a special occasion, but now did not give a second thought to.**

"**My Lord, I..."**

"**No protests, Cahra. Eat what I have given you. You are little more than bones. You have little strength. Eat." She watched him in surprise, as he came to sit across from her at the table.**

"**Will you eat, or do I feed you?" he asked her gently, almost surprising himself in his deep concern for her.**

**She picked up a small piece of the bread, and nibbled at it reluctantly. She was so far beyond the point of hunger, that she had little appetite. He stood from his seat, and sat next to her, breaking the bread for her, and handing it to her, his eyes never leaving hers. She raised it to her mouth, chewing weakly. He took a slice of the fruit, offering it to her near bloodless lips. She hesitated, before taking it from his fingers, her gaze avoiding his. He continued to feed her the small morsels, until she meet his gaze. **

"**no more Haldir. I cannot eat anymore.' He looked at the majority of food that was left. What she had eaten was less than half of a mid morning meal of his. Half a peach, a slice of bread, a bite of cheese. He offered her the glass of wine, and she shook her head.**

"**I am sorry. Only water, please,'' she murmured, the food making her sleepy. He placed a goblet of water in her shaking hands, that threatened to spill it. He steadied her hands with one of his, his other coming to support her back. And as just she had guided his hands that morning at the river, he guided hers as she sipped at the water, holding the cup for her as she drank. She was tired. Her eyes fought to stay open.**

"**My Lord, would you have me show you how to repair that shirt now/"she asked, her words slurring as her eyes threatened to close. He took the cup from her.**

"**No, I would have you sleep off some of your tire. You are not doing anything more this night," he murmured, taking her from the chair, and placing her upon his own bed, despite her feeble protests.**

"**Shhh,", he murmured gently, closing her eyes with gentle fingers. "Sleep"**

**And without another conscious thought, she gave in to Haldir's caresses and the blissful repose of sleep, her eyes closing in pure exhaustion. Haldir watched her for a minute, a strange warmth filling him, before he shook his head in frustration, clearing it. He then rose from his place beside her. He had a merchant to meet. **


	4. I just want you to know who I am

**A/N; thankyou all for my lovely reviews! They are very much appreciated! Let me know what you think about this new chappie! ta**

**Relion. He was drinking greedily from a goblet of wine, spilling a little on himself. Haldir's lips curled in distaste, as he approached the circle of elves where he stood. **

"**Relion." He said, his voice humorless. "A word, if you are not busy?" his voice was requesting, but his eyes demanded. Relion gulped what was left of his wine, suddenly very thirsty.**

"**Perhaps... later, I must..."**

"**No, now." Haldir said, taking him by the arm, and pulling him into a shadowed alcove.**

"**How many years have you been running the stall at the market?" Haldir asked, his request innocent enough, but Relion suspected that there was something more to the Marchwarden this eve than curiosity.**

"**Ahh...near on a hundred and fifty years." He said, a little suspiciously.**

"**And for the first fifty of those years, as I recall, you sold wine, am I correct? Poor quality wine, I believe?" **

"**Ahh...yes...I really must," he tried to escape, fearing where this conversation was heading.**

"**And then about a hundred years ago, if memory serves, you suddenly broke into the market of luxury goods?**

"**Yes." he said, his wariness fading a little. Perhaps the Marchwarden was here to commission a special something. He would pay handsomely for one of those treasures that naive little elleth made.**

"**Where, pray tell, do you get such goods in Lorien? Such goods you charge a tidy sum for, they must have been expensive to begin with." Haldir asked, playing the innocent.**

"**A local woman makes them. And she charges an arm and a leg for them too, I can tell you. My prices are high to make up for the expense."**

"**So tell me, how does an elf such as yourself make so much profit from goods that were expensive to begin with? And why have we no rich little elleth amongst us, spending the profits of her labors?"**

**Haldir asked a little too pleasantly.**

**The merchant began to feel uncomfortable again. **

"**Ahh..."**

"**Is it possible that perhaps these goods you are procuring are perhaps not costing the 'arm and leg' you suggest? Is it possible that the little elleth you take advantage of is struggling to make ends meet whilst you cheat her out of profits that rightfully belong to her?" Haldir's voice got progressively colder. "Is it also possible that your prices for her goods have fallen so low that she now lays in my talan, unable to afford food and time to sleep, weak with hunger and exhaustion, all so that she may keep a roof over her head, and keep you in business!" Haldir's grip on the little ellon tightened, making it impossible for him to escape. **

**Haldir thrust him against a tree, his legs dangling in the air.**

"**I tell you now, merchant, if I hear of you cheating her of even a single coin of profit made from her goods, you will rue the day you first came to Lorien. In fact, I think it a very good idea for you to leave, before I am forced to do something I will regret." He dropped the little ellon, and he scurried off, terrified. Haldir watched him go, glaring after him coldly. He hoped that this in some way could ease the terrible guilt he felt at his previous treatment of Cahra. He returned to his talan, his shoulders slumped. His shame at his treatment of her near consumed him, and it felt as though no amount of consideration could compensate for his crimes. **

**When he returned to his talan, he found her still sleeping, unmoved from where he had left her. He crept over to where she lay quietly, and watched her. Again, it was as though he saw her for the first time. The dark circles had begun to fade, leaving sun bronzed skin, unmarred by the passage of time. And She looked so peaceful when she slept. Not including the last few hours, he struggled to recall her face with any other expression but disappointment, reluctance, unhappiness, frustration. All caused by him. The thought pained him greatly. **

**He reflected on the few memories he had of her. Her face falling when she smiled to greet him upon his return from the border, to a sparkling clean talan, only to have him complain that a job was not finished. A job which never should have been started by her in the first place. Of her reluctantly putting aside something she enjoyed to go to him. Of the gentleness and care she had used in preparing his mothers dresses, only to have him snap at her for asking a question. Of her cooking his meals for him the one time he had been injured, despite the complaints and abuse he had hurled at her. She had stayed anyway.**

**He had treated her little better than a slave. And she had suffered terribly for it. The little elleth he had never seen, now seemed to be the only thing he could look at. His labors over the past few days and her weakened state had opened his eyes to her. He thought back to the countless times he had called her from her own labors to tend his own menial tasks, that he was perfectly capable of doing for himself. Of the hundreds of times he had tired her to the point of collapsing, and still asked more of her. Of the...**

"**My Lord?" came a sleepy voice from his bed. Once again, he had become so deeply entrenched within his own thoughts about himself, that he had failed to notice what was right in front of him. Cahra opened her eyes sleepily, before getting off of his bed, panicking, forgetting for a moment that she no longer served him. "I am sorry, I will have these sheets cleaned immediately My Lord." Her hands pulled weakly at the fabric, and his hands caught hers.**

"**Cahra," he said, and she looked up at him, as though she too were seeing him for the first time, and the fear faded from her eyes. 'Sit down before you fall down. You are still weak." When she didn't sit down, he gently pressed her back on to the bed. "Stay here," he asked, before going back into the kitchen, and took what was left of the bread and fruit. As he left, the day before came flooding back to her, and she nearly smacked herself in the head. Why was she doing this for him? Why was she letting him do this for her?**

"**Here, Cahra, eat." He said, sitting upon the bed beside her. She shook her head. **

"**My Lord, I fear I have already overstayed my welcome. I will leave you. No doubt you have a hundred other things, or elleths to do, or something important, or maybe I need to clean something. Are you hungry? I shall have to make you something..."she babbled on, a little overwhelmed at both the change in Haldir and her circumstances. He placed a finger to her lips to stay her words. **

"**You are welcome in this talan for the remainder of our time on Middle Earth, Cahra, and there is nothing more important to me than repairing the damage that my hand has wrought," he said quietly, before he held a piece of the fruit to her lips. "Now eat." He slipped the piece of fruit between her lips, and she ate it hungrily. Her appetite had returned. She ate the bread and fruit, feeling her strength returning with each bite. He watched her as she ate, finding the simple act arousing. He quelled the desire that welled up in him, fighting it with all within him. She did not need this now. He wasn't sure if _he_ needed this now, despite the fact that another part of his anatomy was telling him that he did, very much. But his remorse was greater still.**

"**My Lord..."**

"**Haldir.", he interrupted, surprising both himself and her, but finding that the idea of her calling him by his name pleased him. "I am no longer your Lord. I never was. Call me by my name. You are my equal, Cahra."**

"**My Lord..."**

"**Haldir. Let me hear you say it."**

"**Haldir. I need to bathe and change my dress, before I can mend those clothes from earlier."**

"**You may use my bathing room if you wish. I will fetch you a dress whilst you bathe."**

"**You do not need to do this My L-Haldir. I am quite capable of taking care of myself." she said, struggling to rise again.**

"**You have been taking care of yourself for far too long I think Cahra. Now, please, do as I ask of you. Not for me, for once, but for yourself." She continued to stare at him, unsure, before she nodded. **

"**I will fetch you a dress," he said, leaving her to bathe. She watched him go. Who was this humble ellon that was so prepared to tend her every whim. It certainly wasn't the Haldir she knew. She wondered if this was the Haldir that the elleths knew, but then decided no, it couldn't be. The Haldir he was when he was with her, was hers, and no one else's. And this recognition frightened her a little. She bathed quickly, the luxury of the room making her a little uncomfortable. Despite the talan being Haldir's home, it said very little about the type of person Haldir was. Very little to turn it from a talan to a home. **

**She vowed to remedy that. She had swallowed what little was left of her pride, from the moment Haldir had closed her eyes. Nothing seemed to matter, nothing had ever seemed to matter, but him. She knew in the back of her mind why she had put up with his arrogance, his countless tasks, his continuous commands and expectations. It was because she simply couldn't live without him. And somehow, she thought she had always known. And as the realization of it, despite this new, humble Haldir being easier to love, still ripped her in half. Because she could not survive loving Haldir. **

**She left the bathing chamber, a drying sheet wrapped firmly around her, to find a dress lying in wait upon Haldir's bed. She took one look at it, tears filling her eyes as she realized that the dress was one of the few he kept securely locked away deep in the chest, the dresses she had only ever been allowed to clean under his supervision, then store it away again safely in the chest, a protective layer of cotton between them. His mothers dresses. The blue one, so soft that she had to touch it twice to ensure it was real. It lay there as either a truce or …a symbol of something deeper, and she didn't want to think it was either. She kept the sheet wrapped around her, and left the dress upon the bed.**

"**Haldir?" she asked tentivly, and he came in, frowning a little when he saw her state of undress.**

"**What is it Cahra?" he asked, his voice slightly hoarse, fighting the urge to throw her upon the bed and take her, the sheet clinging damply to every curve of her body. He wanted to tear it from hr and...**

"**Haldir, this is your mothers' dress. I cannot wear it." She said, a little reverently.**

"**Yes you can. I'll not have you walking through Lorien with naught but a bathing sheet on. Besides. The colour suits you."**

**She carefully folded the dress up.**

**Haldir placed a hand upon her arm stopping her.**

"**I would have you wear it for me, please?" he asked quietly, his eyes downcast, humility threading his voice. Tears again threatened to stain her face as she nodded, and Haldir left, his tread lighter. **

**She slid on the dress, as though it was the first she had ever worn. When she emerged to Haldir's probing gaze, the look in his eyes upon seeing her in the dress both frightened and warmed her. Uncomfortable with the warmth in his gaze, she broke away from his stare. He smiled when he realized she was embarrassed, and he picked up her needle and the shirt from yesterday. **

"**Will you show me how to repair this now?" he asked her, leading her over to a chair before his fire place. She sat in it, and he knelt at her feet.**

"**To better see what your hands do," he reasoned, whether it was to convince himself or her, he had no idea, when all he wanted to do was bury his face in her lap like a child, and breathe in her scent, and feel her hands thread themselves in his hair, and touch him as though she would never touch another. To beg her forgiveness, and have her tell him that all was alright. He looked up at her, and smiled. "Will you help me with my tasks again Cahra?" he asked her softly.**

**Unable to find a single taunt or witty remark, she simply said, "If you wish it." But he could see the disappointment in her eyes. He hastily replied "It will not be as last time Cahra. I wish you to show me, how to take care of myself. I would not have you doing my menial tasks anymore. I would have you making beautiful things all day, and then spending the profits on more pretty things for yourself. I do not want your fingers wrinkled from washing clothes I have soiled, or your brow marred with a frown I have put there. I wish to spare you this. I wish...I wish to learn," he said, haltingly. She looked at him, his eyes clear of anything but humility for the first time. She picked up the needle and threaded it, looking down at him. As she saw him stare at her from his place at her feet, she could not help but think him magnificent. And she wasn't sure if she could survive magnificent. But for him, she was willing to die trying.**

"**First," she said to him quietly, "You must have the right colour thread.'" **


	5. When All I Can Feel Is This Moment

**And so it was that (despite her firmest resolve not to when he had fired her, what seemed like a lifetime ago) she returned to helping Haldir, but this time, she showed him how to care for himself. **

**And Haldir absorbed everything she said to him, every glance, every smile, so that they would always be with him. He learnt all she would teach him, practicing and bettering his skills with the determination of one who seeks forgiveness. And he did. Her forgiveness of him was the only thing that seemed to matter to him. He had changed before her eyes over the past few weeks. He held doors open for her to allow her to enter a room first, took heavy loads from her, helped her with her own chores, and he even repaired the roof in her own talan for her, as a surprise. And every night when he was home, she would take her seat by the fire, and he would kneel at her feet, and watch her sew. He found it soothing, and learnt much from watching her. And not all of it had to do with thread. He learnt that she sometimes held her breath when she concentrated particularly hard, or that she sometimes, despite all her years of experience and skill, sewed her dress to her creation. These moments Haldir liked the best, for he would sit there staring up at her innocently, as she tried to unsnarl herself. Also, it gave him a fine look at her legs. But he also learnt how to sew quite well, and sometimes, he would join her, repairing his own clothing at her feet.**

**When he went to the border, she gladly cared for his talan, turning it into a home, adding small things for him to enjoy. A rug better suited to Haldir's taste, curtains that would not show dirt so easily. The tapestry he loved from her own talan. No longer would she accept money from Haldir to do work for him that she always had enjoyed so much (with the exception of his complaints). Despite his arguments, she stood firm by this. He did much of the work for himself now anyway. (although, she still washed his clothes . That was something the poor ellon had never quite gotten the hang of) And she really no longer needed the money. Relion had mysteriously vanished from Lorien, and out of desperation, she ran her own stall at market, her goods fetching such high prices that a single purchase was enough to keep her well fed for a week. She saw then the true worth of her work.**

**When he was home, she cooked for him. Whilst she had started to show him how to cook, he often had trouble with it. She gladly cooked the night meal for him, and he would invite her to eat with him, enjoying her company, the nightly elleths having long since vanished. (much to the Ladies of Loriens' chagrin, who missed their ardent lover) And when he returned to see the sunset tapestry he had so admired adorning his wall, a tear threatened to escape his eye. ("A piece of dust is in my eye, is all Cahra. It is beautiful. Thank you.")**

**When on the fences, Haldir had much thinking to do. He never stayed for very long, but he could often be found at night mending his own shirts from the rigors of the day. He was bent over a particularly bad rent one night, when Rumil approached him, placing a hand on his shoulder.**

"**Brother, ahh….what are you doing?" he asked, looking from the needle to the shirt than back to Haldir in amusement. **

"**What does it look like Rumil? I am repairing the rent in my shirt," he said, his eyes never leaving his work. Mirth filed the eyes of all the wardens in the flet who overheard this.**

"**Yes, I can see that…but…Why!" Rumil burst out, the situation a little beyond his comprehension. A needle and thread was as alien to his hands as a sword was familiar. Haldir looked up.**

"**Because it is torn," he said slowly, as though it were the simplest thing in the world.**

**Despite the ribbing of his fellow wardens, he took it good naturedly, and continued to repair the shirts himself, until a few nights later, Orophin approached him, a needle and torn shirt in his own hands. **

"**Will you teach me brother?" he asked gallantly, as he watched Haldir make the tiny stitches. Haldir looked up in amusement. Orophin shrugged.**

"**It seems like a handy skill to have," he said, seating himself next to him. Haldir raised his eyebrows. **

"**Alright, alright. It will also make me quite popular with the elleths, if the truth be known."**

**Haldir shook his head at this. The ellon only thought with one part of his anatomy, which appeared to be very cunning indeed. Orophin it turned out, was not the only one to think this. Very quickly, all the wardens in Haldir's brigade could be found bent over a shirt with needle and thread at night. It made for a most comical sight, the tiny needles and delicate stitches being made by the large battle scarred hands of the warriors. Needless to say, however none of the warriors who leant to sew during their stay upon the fences were single for very long.**

"**I would dearly love to meet the maid who can humble my brother so," Orophin commented one night, as all sat mending their weapons and gear from the rigors of the day. "She must be 'pleasant' indeed," he said with a wink, causing a stir of laughter amongst the other wardens. All had begun to think of Haldir's Cahra as a legendary dominatrix, who could bend any ellon to her will with a single glance. Haldir's head shot up, and he glared at Orophin coldly, all laughter dying. "You will not touch her Orophin." He said with such vehemanance, that it gave Rumil cause to wonder.**

'**Have you staked a claim on her brother?" Rumil asked cautiously, trying to take neither side in the argument.**

**Haldir gave him a hard look.**

"**No. But I will not have the either of you toying with her. That goes for all of you," he said, raising his voice so that all the wardens could hear him. "Touch Cahra, taunt her, toy with her, and you will have my blade to answer to, is that clear?"**

**Rumil and Orophin looked slightly taken aback. "Can we ask why we are not to touch her, if you have no claim to her?" Rumil asked, a little foolishly.**

"**I have staked no claim upon her Rumil, because she is above me. She is better than all of us, brothers, and none deserve her," he said, before going back to the leather bindings upon his sword, abruptly ending the conversation, an odd look of longing on his face. Rumil and Orophin glanced at each other, eyebrows raised. Where had the Haldir of the last thousand years gone? And wherever he_ had_ gone to, the two prayed he stayed there. They liked the humble version of their brother much better. **

**He was useful, Rumil thought to himself. No longer must he actively seek out seamstresses for the most menial of rips. Preferring independence, Rumil was quite happy to fend for himself for a change.**

**He was wily, thought Orophin. He must realise how the skills he had procured will raise his standings even further with the elleths, even if he has eyes for only one. He must meet the elleth who could do this to his brother.**

**HE WAS A LEGEND! Thought all others under his command, who suddenly found that their beds were never cold at night. They heartily praised their commander for his insight into the hearts of elleths. Show up with a cooked meal, and they were impressed. Show up with a basket of freshly laundered clothes, and they fainted. Show up with a needle and thread and they wouldn't let them out of bed for the next week.**

**A/N; thankyou all for the lovely reviews! I tried to respond to as many as I could. Keep the feed back coming, I'd love to know what you think!**


	6. Closest To Heaven I'll Ever Be

**A/N: Here you are my readers! Lovely long chapter for you! And thank you all for my lovely reviews! Very much appreciated. Now let me know what you think of this one.**

Long weeks passed, becoming months, then a year. And still, Haldir remained 'her' Haldir. When she looked back over that year of change, when he had first come to her, out of sheer desperation and asked for her help, and she had given it warily, she smiled to think of it. It was not in her to refuse him, or any. But when she gave it, he had changed so rapidly that it left even her breathless. Perhaps this was the real Haldir after all.

Despite Haldir's change of spirit, she had thought that the love she felt for him would fade away, and become nothing more than a passing warmth, a dream. Their friendship, she had assumed, would be sufficient to sustain her. But she was wrong. Her feelings for him, her need of him only grew. Loving him became all the easier with his gentle words of thanks and admiring glances. But despite this, she remained a little wary of him. She wasn't sure if she was entirely ready to forgive him completely, even after all this time and she certainly wasn't ready to forget the old Haldir's ways, chasing an elleth, promising her the world to get her into bed, than leaving the next morn. It had only been a year, and he had chased others for longer.

She would not let him touch her very much. He knew her thoughts. He knew she feared she was like the others, like a prize he would give everything to chase, than cast aside once he had had. But she was wrong. He could no longer fight the moment of truth in all his lies to himself. He needed her. As he had needed no other. As he needed his next breath. When they walked together under the silent boughs of Lorien (basket of laundry firmly in his arms), he shielded her from the gaze of all others, not able to share even the very sight of her with another.

He rarely let her go to the market alone anymore, afraid that if he could not see her, she would be lost to him. The stays on the fences were a necessary separation he endured, but always he was anxious to return to her. However, he knew he had every right to be concerned. Orophin, whilst being a good ellon, with a good heart, could not help himself; he had to see what it was that had his brother so captivated. So, during one of the few times that his brother was on the fences, and he was not, Orophin saw to it that he 'accidentally' ran into Cahra.

"Oh!" exclaimed Cahra, as the basket of goods tumbled from her hands, sending fruit cascading around their feet. She bent over to pick them up.

"Excuse me, my dear. Allow me to assist you," he said gallantly, before kneeling down to help her with the fruit. She looked up at the ellon warily. It was no accident he had run into her.

"My Lord, there are easier and, might I add," she said, looking at the bruised softer fruit, now inedible, "Cheaper ways of getting my attention." Orophin had enough grace to look slightly sheepish. "Forgive me Lady." He said charmingly, bowing low to her, but she just shook her head at him, leaving him, standing there in the middle of the market. "I must be going now."

Orophin ran to catch up to her, a little confused. She had walked away from him? He looked at the little elleth a second time. There was nothing remarkable about her, her skin slightly brown from being in the sun, unlike the pale white that most of the Ladies where. He wondered naughtily for a moment whether all of her was that colour, before shaking his head to clear himself of his delusions. No, she was not beautiful, or even pretty. But she _was_ captivating.

"Can I ask you a question, Lady?" he said, walking beside her, not even bothering to help with the heavy load she carried. Not that she minded, but if he was going to tarry her with questions, the least he could do was make himself useful.

"Who are you?" she asked, matter-of-factly, turning to look at him, one hand on her hip.

"Forgive me. I am Orophin, Haldir's brother." He said, watching her carefully to see her reaction. And he wasn't to be disappointed. She burst out laughing.

"I should have known!" She said amidst her laughter. "Tell me. Did you really beg Haldir to teach you how to sew in order to gain elleths attentions?" she said, getting straight to the point. He again looked sheepish.

"Ahh…yes. I did. And it worked. Would you like me to show you?" he asked hopefully, an amorous glint coming into his eyes, having forgotten Haldir's warning quite suddenly, as his most cunning, but less intelligent body part began to make the decisions for him. There was something appealing about her little figure. She shook her head.

"I taught Haldir, Orophin. Or did you forget as the flow of blood to most of the parts of your body has been stopped?" she asked, a little smile on her face. And once more, Orophin looked sheepish. "You are quite….Ahh…perceptive, Lady,' he said, making no effort to hide his embarrassment. He lived his life unafraid of such emotions, and her rejection did not hurt him in any way whatsoever. If she wasn't willing, there were plenty who were. He realized then that they were outside Haldir's talan. "Would you like to come in, _Haldir's_ brother?" she asked, emphasizing his brothers name. He knew when he was beaten.

"No, thank you Lady, but I would like to ask you a question." He said, leaning against the door post.

"Well then, here, hold this," She said, thrusting the heavy weight of her basket at him, and he stumbled under the unexpected burden for a moment, as she opened the door to Haldir's talan. She took the load off of him, placing it inside the door, before turning to face him. "Now what is it that you need to know, Haldir's brother?" she asked, a playful light in her eyes.

"How did you do it?" Orophin blurted out, unable to stop himself. She looked at him, confused.

"Do what?"

"Tame the wild Haldir," He said, with more than a trace of amusement behind his genuine curiosity. She continued just to stare at him, before recovering. "I think it was the whip," she said solemnly. Orophin eyes widened.

"I knew it!" he exclaimed under his breathe, and Cahra closed her eyes in exasperation, shaking her head.

"I did nothing, Orophin," she said quietly. He nodded his head, a little disappointed, before turning to leave. Just as she turned to go inside, he turned to face her again.

"I refuse to believe that. Was it a whip?" he asked eagerly, determined to get an answer. She just looked at him strangely. "Rope? Blackmail? A blade? Hot wax?" he listed, trying desperately to uncover the secret of her hold over Haldir. She just continued to stare at him strangely, before closing the door in his face. "That's it," he told himself, as he went to find a more amicable elleth to spend some time with. "It's the hot wax. It has to be." He stopped for a moment on the path in shock. His brother? There was no way that he was that….kinky! he thought to himself, before shaking such thoughts of his brother from his head. He no longer needed an elleth though.

Haldir returned from the fences the next day, to find Cahra in her familiar place by the fire. He allowed himself a small, gentle smile at the sight, before going to greet her. "Cahra. How have you been? Missing me terribly?" he asked, a little boyishly. She smiled up at him, an evil glint coming into her eyes. "Actually, no. Your brother saw that I did not miss you for a moment." she said, smiling cheekily. Haldir turned first reed, than white.

"Orophin? He was here? When? Are you alright?" he asked softly, his voice becoming dangerous in the suddenly very small talan. Did he touch you, his mind screamed, but he would not ask her that. She was not his.

She looked at him, a little surprised. "Of course I am fine, Haldir, why wouldn't I be? It was just Orophin."

He sank down by her feet on the ground. "Trust me, Cahra, the words 'Just Orophin' have never been used together before," he said, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. Would it look bad if he were to kill his own brother? Yes. Yes it would. He would settle for reiterating his warning to him then.

"And don't you even think about going and lording your authority over him, Haldir. He was perfectly polite, even if he did proposition me…."

"HE WHAT!"

"Settle down Haldir. He was joking. He just wanted to know about how I 'gained my hold over you'." She quoted, smiling at him mischievously. His anger faded. He never could stay angry when she was being playful. He smiled reluctantly up at her.

"So what did you tell him?" he asked, a little cautiously.

"I told him that it was the whip." She said, not looking up from her sewing. Haldir laughed at this.

"Has my change of spirit been that obvious, that evident?" he asked, knowing the answer already.

"Well, I don't know Haldir. You tell me. What would you call going from the self proclaimed Lord of Lorien to Friend of the Wash Maid in the space of a day?" It as Haldir's turn to look sheepish. He was happy to be home, and even happier to see her.

When he had first walked in, he had stopped himself from taking her in his arms at the very last moment. Her head was down, concentrating on her stitching, so she did not see his arms reach for her, even for those few seconds.

He realized that night, when sleep refused to claim him, that despite having known her for so long there was still much of Cahra he did not know. Much more he wanted to know. Needed to know. He could not move the image of her from his mind, nor did he want to. He felt as though he was losing his mind. He needed to touch her so much, that he could not help himself anymore. He crept from his talan, into hers that night, unable to be without her. And he stood by her bedside, watched her in reverie for that long night, feeling all the more rested when he crept out the next morning before she woke, just for having been with her. He told himself that he would never allow himself such a moment of selfish weakness again, but the next night, he still found himself by her bed. This time, he sat upon it, tracing the line of her hand with a finger so gently, he himself could not be sure whether he touched her or not. She did not stir. He gradually got braver, tracing the contours of her hand, her arm, her shoulder, her face, committing them all to memory. He admitted to himself than that he could not live without her.

He went to her every night after that, when she was deeply asleep, getting gradually braver, until his need for her drove him to holding her to him for a few precious moments. He needed to be with her. He knew the risk he ran of losing her if she awoke to find him in her bed, knew what she would think he was there for, but could not help himself anymore. He needed those few hours when she slept, when he could be selfish just for a little while, and be with her.

He pulled her to him as she slept on, knowing that he would have to leave her before she woke, and prayed to the Valar that he could find the words to tell her how he felt, without driving her away. The fragile relationship they had was built on friendship, and he was most reluctant to endanger it. And he prayed again that she would not wake to find him sleeping with her, like a frightened child. For he knew if she did find him here, it could cause more hurt than he could ever do intentionally.

In the past year, she had come to trust him, and such a fragile trust could easily be broken. If she saw him there, she would think he had come to seduce her. And she couldn't be more wrong. It was not lust that drove him to her bed. It was because that in her bed, in her arms, he was the closest to himself that he had ever been. And that frightened him, but he could no longer live without it. That night was particularly bright, the moon high in the sky, and he knew he should not have risked it, but he could not bare to be without her. He looked down.

And he saw the one thing that threatened to break him and make him whole all at once. Her eyes were open. And the disappointment in her eyes at finding him in her bed spoke all that needed to be said. He caressed her cheek, pretending the disappointment in her features hadn't made her body stiff with distrust, placed a single kiss atop her forehead, tears threatening his eyes, before throwing himself from the bed, and to his own talan. There, the combination of wine and darkness wiled away the time, and the pain that threatened to consume him. He had ruined whatever small chance he had ever had, of having his Cahra.

**A/N : OHH! Cliffhanger!lol. don't shoot me!**


	7. Sooner Or Later It's Over

**The darkness helped until the wine wore away. And then it became as endless and timeless as eternity. He felt completely lost. He did not know where he was going, where he was headed, only where he wanted...needed to be. Buried in her arms, so far within her that none could tell where she ended, and he began. He drank again. He could not bare the pain that threatened to consume him without the wines numbing effect. He cursed his own selfishness once more. Just s it had been what had nearly driven them apart, and then brought them back together, this time, it had been their complete undoing. The door flew open. "Do you not knock?" he slurred from his place upon the floor. There she was, she stood before him, as fierce and beautiful as the Valar, her face a mask of fury at the sight of him crumpled in the corner. **

"**Why have you done this to yourself!" she ordered, snatching the wine bottle from his limp fingers, emptying it into the sink. **

"**That was good wine," he protested half heartedly. She put her hands on his hips.**

"**Haldir, you will get off that floor this instant before I make you clean it!" she said angrily, before wrenching him up herself. When she had awoken to find him in her bed, she had thought that he was there to seduce her, until she realized that he had been the familiar presence she had felt in her dreams for the past seven nights. And she knew there was no lust in his attentions. And she demanded an explanation.**

"**Why have you come to me?" he asked dispiritedly, feeling like salt was being rubbed into an open wound at the very sight of her. How he loved her, he thought in his alcohol dulled mind. How splendid she was. **

'**You must think me stupid Haldir? I have come to ask you why you were in my bed this night, as you have been for the last seven."**

**He looked at her in amazement.**

'**I don't jump to conclusions Haldir. You of all people should know that."**

**He continued to stare up at her.**

"**I'm waiting," she said, tapping her foot at the pathetic looking March Warden, crumpled at her feet. "Why do you steal into my bed like a frightened elfing?" **

**Haldir sighed in defeat, his voice a little slurred from the wine. "Because dreaming of you was no longer enough to sustain me. I had to touch you." His voice grew clearer, and more impassioned. "I can no longer stand being without you. I have to be near you every second, I need to feel you in my arms, even for those few hours in the dead of night when I know not whether you can feel me with you. I am tired of denying and suppressing what I feel for you, and I am tired of being alone. And most of all, I am tired of being without you. I would give up forever to touch you, to have you as my own. That is why I come to your bed at night, and leave before you wake. That is why I steal into your arms like a frightened elfing, Cahra. Because I am. Because even when you sleep, you stave off my loneliness, and make me feel I am so much better." **

**His eyes never left hers, "Where has the wine gone?" he murmured, more to himself, than to her, before he collapsed into a drunken stupor, his impassioned speech having left him more exhausted than he realized. Or was it the wine? He slipped from awareness. Cahra looked at him for a long time, tears in her eyes, before she knelt down beside him, and pillowed his head with her lap, and wrapped her arms around him. "Oh Haldir," she whispered to him quietly, shaking her head, rocking him like a child as she held him close.**

**A/N; sorry all. I just couldn't resist the Captain Jack Sparrow moment. Where is the wine gone. lol. And that last line of Cahra's, imagine her saying that to the opening bars of 'BROKEN' by Seether and Amy Lee. It nearly brought me to tears. lol. so there you go. Short chapter, but up quick.. Enjoy. Thank you for the reviews everyone! And be prepared for the lovely long chapter that's coming. It will blow your socks off (undoubtedly with the cheesiness.lol)**


	8. All I Can Breathe is Your Life

He awoke in his own bed, wrapped securely in the comforter that she had made him. The light of late afternoon filtered in through the window. How long had he slept? Given the amount of wine he had consumed, it was a miracle he had escaped the mother of all headaches. And then the rest of last night came rushing back to him. Cahra, finding him in her bed, his speech, his confessions to her. And then passing out. Oh Valar, what had he done?

He ran out into his sitting room dressed in nothing but his leggings, only to see his Cahra sitting in her familiar spot by the fire, mending one of his shirts that he had not had a chance to himself. And the look in her eyes warmed him to the very core. All remorse at his admittance last night was chased away by the realization that she had finally forgiven him, as she sat before him, a gentle smile on her face. A smile of pure forgiveness. He knelt at her feet, whispering "You are here. You did not leave."

She looked at him, lowering her sewing, putting it aside. "I have always been here Haldir." Tears burned his eyes, and he did something he had long wished to do. He buried his head in her lap, and let himself be held by her, her fingers in his hair, stroking it from his face, as he breathed in the scent of her, and closed his eyes. "My Cahra," he breathed as he knelt there, his head in her lap, his arms wrapped securely round her waist. "My treasure, my love."

She continued to stroke his hair, with long gentle caresses that made him shiver, and she finally had him in her arms, where she had longed to have him for the last one hundred and one years. He finally lifted his head, leaving his hands on either side of her.

His gaze caught hers, and held it. And as she saw him in his familiar place at her feet, she knew that that was the one place he would never leave.

"I did not want to frighten you away, Cahra," he breathed, as his hand reached out to gently touch her cheek. She leant into his touch, closing her eyes. "I expect nothing of you, nor can ask anything of you anymore."

She opened her eyes at his words, and rose from the chair to kneel before him on the floor. They would have been eye to eye, were it not for her small stature. "As I expected nothing of you, nor asked anything of you, yet you gave to me anyway."

"I gave what _I_ had taken in the first place. And I would gladly give you more." he murmured, casting his gaze down, afraid to look at her. She placed her hands beneath his chin, lifting his head to look at her. "Than let me have you," she murmured, as she lent in to place a tender kiss upon his lips, and he stayed still, afraid that his smallest movement would destroy the precious moment that stretched between them. Her lips left his, as he raised her hand to his lips and placed an equally tender kiss upon the back of it. She smiled at him softly, and his gaze never left hers, as he turned her hand over in his grasp, and placed a kiss upon the palm of her hand, hearing her hasty intake of breath.

"I thought I had left the dream of you behind," she whispered softly, and he only just heard her, as he slowly took her in his arms, from where they both knelt upon the floor, equals.

"You did," he whispered huskily to her, nuzzling her neck with his lips. "And found I was real."

She smiled, as she felt her neck arch into his lips of its own, and she grasped him to her as though nothing else mattered anymore. He kissed her again, holding his lips to hers, letting the fire within him consume them, as he held his love close. His treasure. _His_ Cahra

The Valar. Who was this elleth that fulfilled him so completely? All he could taste, all he could breathe, was her. He could feel her all over him, her scent. He wanted her to know who he was, completely, as he wanted to know all of her. Every curve, every line, every sigh. Every noise she made, his ears strained to catch. Every look from her, his eyes wanted to drink in, until nothing was left. He wanted to crawl inside her very skin and soak in everything that was her and be left with nothing of himself. What he needed of her was beyond his power to describe. So he didn't. He showed her.

He lay her upon the rug that she had made for him, with love in every stitch and care in each weave of the design. Made with forgiveness. She looked up at him then, and knew that she was not like the other elleths. She had never been like the others. Haldir was hers now. Her Haldir, her heart, her soul. She also knew that for each of them, there would never be another. There never was another. He kissed her with such intensity, that her head spun, and she couldn't think straight. His hands traced sinful paths along her body, gently removing her dress, until she lay beneath him with nothing covering her but him.

Her hands flew to his tunic, and removed it, and pulled at his shirt, which he gladly tossed aside, and brought himself atop of her, his skin against hers, and she arched against him, rubbing herself against the pressing bulge in his leggings. He moaned as her hips ground against his.

"Cahra, don't, please, or I will not be able to stop myself," he gasped into her ear huskily, as her hands slid down the front of his leggings. He caressed one breast, the tip of it hardening at his touch.

"Then don't," she whispered back hotly, as she grasped his erection in her talented hands. He threw his head back and moaned, an animalistic sound that tore through the air in the darkening talan.

He kissed her forcefully, passions he had previously had to keep in check breaking away as he consumed her. Her hands pulled his leggings down, and he kicked them away, kissing her again, pulling her hands from him, to hold them, trapped, above her head.

"No, my Cahra, let me. It should not be like this. I want it to be good for you…."

"I have waited for you for a century, Haldir. I cannot wait any longer." she whispered to him, and suddenly, she rolled him so she was straddling his hips, his erection poised at her entrance. He looked up at her in surprise, before lust got the better of him. He grasped her hips, trying to thrust into her, but she would not let him. She lent forward, rubbing her body against his, and he moaned at the sensuous torture. She was in complete control. She kissed him, and he grasped her to him firmly, her hands tangling in his hair.

"Cahra, please, stop teasing me!" he moaned, begging her to take him. The look on her face went straight to his groin. It spoke of forbidden pleasures, and hot blooded passion. She slowly began to lower herself onto him. He groaned, arching back, trying to go deeper, further, but she would not let him. He growled in frustration at her torment, until she could stand it no longer either, and impaled herself upon him swiftly, causing both to throw their heads back with a wild cry. Haldir could take no more. He threw himself atop of her with an animalistic growl, pressing her underneath him, as he thrust himself deeply inside of her, again and again. She gripped his shoulders, as he drove himself into her with all the passion he possessed, as she felt a great flame unfurl within her, that shook her to her very core. He held her to him tightly, her legs wrapping around his, as he thrust in deeper still, harder, faster. He kissed her fiercely, his hand moving between them, to stroke her desire further.

And she knew then what the sky felt like, what it was to taste a dream, to float upon an endless sea, and never want to stop, bound to the one thing that kept her afloat. Him. She shook, and he held her to him, as though he would float away if he let go of her. He pounded into her, his release and hers washing over them, so sweet it bordered on painful, until he collapsed atop of her, shaking, feeling like he could see and hear every thing at once and not a single part of it mattered to him but her. Her fingers left imprints upon his skin, so hard was she grasping him to her. And in that one moment, they were so far within each other, that neither could tell where the other ended, and they began. In that precious moment, and for always, he was her strength, and she his light. And he never wanted to close his eyes again, knowing that it would stop him from seeing her.

**A:n: thankyou all for my reviews! I love you all! And don't worry, the story isn't finished yet! Plenty more where this came from! Lol. Now let me know what you think.**


	9. I'd Give Up Forever To Touch You

When she awoke, she was sore. Not painfully so, more a delicious ache that spread through her entire body that told her a job had been well done. And she saw Haldir sleeping peacefully wrapped around her, and she knew that after last night, she could definitely get used to the feeling. Haldir awoke then, and smiled at her sleepily, looking for all like an elfing that had just awoken from a nap, his hair mussed. She laughed quietly, and stroked the hair gently away from his face. He grasped her wrist with his hand, and brought it to his lips to place a soft kiss upon it. She snuggled a little loser to him.

"If we have a son, can I show him how to sew?" Haldir suddenly burst out, as though the question had been plaguing him for weeks. She laughed. He smiled down at her. "What? I enjoy it." he said, a little ruffled. She laughed again, clutching at his chest in her laughter.

"I didn't think it was that funny," he murmured to her, a smile upon his own face.

"It's just that we have just made love for the first time Haldir. Do you not think that maybe we should bind first? Or…or… get a _pet_ to see if you're paternal, or...something?"

He looked down at he with a look of amazement on his face. "You mean you do not know?" he asked her. She shook her head, a little confused. "You are with child. Could you not feel it's tiny life flare into existence?" She hit his arm.

"I was busy feeling a lot of other things you may recall!" she said, before what he said sunk in. "I am with child? Are you sure?" Her eyes narrowed suspiciously for a moment. "Are you sure it's mine?"

Haldir laughed at the expression on her face.

"I don't know who else's it would be," he said, stroking her face tenderly. "I think someone else would have been hard pressed to impregnate you as I was with you all last night." She hit him again.

"Our child," she whispered, the amazement still clear upon her face.

Haldir buried his face in her neck. "Bind with me?" he said rather pathetically, his voice muffled by her neck, almost afraid that she would reject him. Almost. She laughed again.

"You silly ellon, who else would I bind with?" she said, as she forced him to look at her. 'Which other ellon in Lorien knows how to sew?" she asked with a grin.

Haldir looked at her seriously. "My whole brigade," he said earnestly, his eyes wide. Cahra stared in shock, her mouth wide open, before laughing so hard, that she shook. Haldir wasn't complaining, his gaze fixed on her breasts, which were jiggling due to her laughter. She realized this, and stopped laughing, folded her arms across her chest petulantly. Then it was Haldir's turn to laugh.

"Well, I guess if we are to bind," she said, getting out of bed, "I'd better…" Haldir caught her arm.

"I was under the impression that in order to bind one has to stay in fact, in the bed with their beloved," he said, raising one of his eyebrows. She raised an eye brow back at him, hands on her hips. He looked down at the bed, feeling playful. "Unless you do not want to right now, as you are too tired from my display of…immense sexual prowess. I understand," he said, trying to sound meek.

"Immense sexual prowess? Is that what you call it?" She asked, cocking her head. He smiled at her. "I should think so. It was rather…._immense_. There is no other word for it", He said, stretching languorously.

"Well, you my love, need to be taken down a peg or two. I wonder if Orophins…" Haldir's eyebrows flew up in shock. She laughed, "I am not serious you silly ellon. I will not be able to walk properly for a week!" He nodded to himself in satisfaction. She shook her head at the comical picture he made, crawling back across the bed to kiss him. "I love you," she said, before getting up again. Haldir sighed, half in relief, half in frustration, clamping a pillow over his face to hide his groan of despair. "Where are you going?" he asked her, his voice muffled by the pillow.

She smiled back at his antics, before she left the room. He was such an elfing at times. "There's something I must do," she said. So he pulled the pillow off of his face, and reluctantly got out of the bed, and went to see what was so important that she was holding off their binding. He looked out the window in time to see her walking up the path towards her own talan. He was curious. He followed her up the path, until he came to her home. He knocked on the door, and she answered it laughingly.

"Come in you silly ellon," she said, opening the door for him.

"You were the one who used to be annoyed whenever I entered without knocking, my Cahra," he said affectionately, as he entered. He saw a small box resting upon the table. "What is it?" he asked curiously, putting his arms around her, and drawing her against him, treasuring the feeling of her in his arms. She smiled softly, before she went over to it, and opened the lid, surveying it's contents with a tender smile on her face.

In it lay the original contract that had existed between the two of them. Haldir grinned when he saw it too. "I think this needs rewriting, don't you?" she said, laughing. He picked up the parchment, and after scanning it quickly, wincing with disgust at how he arrogant he had sounded, even on paper, "Did I really speak to like this?" He asked, a look of disgust upon his face, and then tore it in two. "There is no contract between us, ever, my treasure, but one. I will never leave you," he whispered into her ear huskily. She smiled up at him. "Nor I you," she swore to him, before "Are you sure Haldir? Am I really what you want?" She asked hesitantly, both fearing and longing for the answer, unsurety creeping into her tone. Haldir just shook his head. "I fear you have ruined me for all others, my Cahra. I could never be with another, knowing that I have you. You are all I need. I could never leave you. I could not have left you from the moment I begged you for help."

"As it should be," she smiled at him cheekily, before his lips crashed down upon hers, lifting her on to the table behind her. She pressed herself to him, as his lips left a trail of fire down her neck.

"Really, Haldir, on the table?" she gasped as he pulled the skirts of her dress up. He looked up at her. "Yes, before you have something else more important to do," he said, before he bent her back onto the table with a kiss of fervent intensity. And she had no complaints whatsoever, save one. "Who will clean the table afterwards?" she said, before forgetting anything else she may have had to say about his methods. And they reaffirmed their vow, signing their contract as they bound themselves to each other upon (of all places) Cahra's table.

------

As they lay there afterwards, too spent to move, the table grateful for the respite after the pounding they had given it, Cahra looked deep into his eyes.

"Haldir?'

"Yes, my Cahra?" he asked satedly, as he twirled a strand of her hair about his fingers lazily.

"When our elfings asked how we decided to bind, we are _not_ telling them that it took place upon my dining table!"

"Well then, what should we tell them about how we met? That you were my wash maid and my greeting to you each day was a hearty slap on the behind, before in a fit of rage I fired you, I _tried_ to wash my own clothes and then you taught me how to sew" he asked, looking down at her with a wicked grin on his face, as he finally let her up off the table.

She stood as he spoke, and winced. " Anything sounds bad when you say it like that. Tell them that we were introduced by Lady Galadriel. You fell in love with me and after many years of your begging, I finally took pity on you and agreed to bind with you, if only to make you be quiet." Haldir looked at her, his mouth open.

"Why can we not have it that it was you who begged me and I took mercy on you?" he asked, feigning disgruntlement.

"Because it is so much more believable that you begged me," she said, with a wicked grin on her face.

"We'll see about that", he said, before pressing her against the wall of her talan. "I think it is you who shall be begging for _my_ mercy," he whispered huskily to her, as he ground against her. She closed her eyes at the feeling, before saying "Do you promise?", looking up at him coyly from beneath her lashes.

"Always, my Cahra," he murmured, as he sheathed himself within her once more, throwing his head back in satisfaction. "Always."

**A/N: Only one more chapter to go after this one! Ohhh!it's always so sad when a story is nearly finished. It means I have to find inspiration for a new one.lol. so any ideas? What would you readers like me to write? (also, tell me what you think of the chapter.lol. thankyou!)**


	10. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

"**Haldir! You wait till I get my hands on you! This is your fault! If you ever come near me again with that amorous look in your eyes, I am going to break off your..."**

**Haldir winced, as he turned to the healer. "Is this...normal?" he asked, a little concerned at the obvious pain his wife was in. The healer nodded, as he concentrated on delivering the baby. "Although most elleths haven't quite the varied or colourful vocabulary that your wife has, Lord Haldir," Haldir winced again.**

**Cahra glared at him from the bed. He went back to her side, and took her hand. She squeezed it so tightly, he winced again.**

"**Shhh, my love," he murmured to her, "I am here,"**

**She snorted in between contractions. "How is that supposed to make me feel better!" she asked, glaring at him. He decided now was an excellent time to check on the progress of their birthing child. **

**When Cahra had gone into labor late that night, he had not known what to do. She had had to get dressed herself, and then help him find a shirt and lace it correctly for him, so worried was he. He was absolutely useless at times like these, she had thought, as he ran around like a chicken with no head, unsure of what to do first. **

"**Haldir, you do realise that I am the one who actually has to give birth? She had asked him, exasperated, as she tried to get him to get her a healer.**

"**She cannot keep the abuse up for much longer can she?" he whispered at the healer, a little concerned. "You were more than willing at the time," he turned and told her, which was met with another snort, and her assurance that she was "faking it".**

**Haldir turned back to the Healer. "She isn't serious. She really was enjoying it, I could tell" he justified. The sudden progression of his wife into labor had turned him into a babbling mess.**

**The healer just shook his head. The Marchwarden had no idea. Haldir looked back to his wife. "Will it be much longer?" he asked, hating to see her in this much pain. Also, he hated the abuse that she was hurling at him.**

**three hours later**

**Haldir stood beside his sleeping wife, their son in his arms. When she awoke, that was the sight that met her eyes, and she smiled. He sat upon the bed, putting his arm around his wife.**

**Haldir looked at her worriedly. "You didn't mean any of that did you?" he asked. **

"**Meant what?" she asked confused, as she reached out to take their child from him. Haldir breathed a sigh of relief. He held his small family close, and closed his eyes in contentment.**

"**However, it will be a long time before I give you _any _of _anything_, lover," she muttered, as she stroked their child's cheek.**

"**What!" asked Haldir, not having quite caught what she said.**

"**Oh, nothing," she said, smiling up at him reassuringly. There would not be a dull moment in their futures, of that, she was certain.**

**And Cahra and Haldir shared a tender kiss, as their little son slept between them, a son, who would have a very…unique upbringing. And Haldir looked at his wife then who was nestled securely in his embrace, with his son in her arms, and he knew then, that he would give up the forever he had, to have them. And as he fought back the tears of happiness that threatened to fall, he knew then that this moment, his family, could never be broken. **

**a/n: So now it's over. Let me know what you all think of the story as a whole, and what you would like to hear about next. So far due to request, it may be an ecthelion, but I am unsure. Let me know. Thanky ou all for your lovely feedback and comments throughout this. Which is probably the fastest I have ever put a story up.lol. u guys rock.**


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